Every day is leg-training day! Woohoo!

Back at it!

Have to be sort of brief since I have injured both of my hands at this point (yep - BOTH. At the same time. I would like to say I've learned a lesson about unrelenting stubborn macho pigheadedness...but it hasn't happened yet.) and typing is pretty time-consuming and somewhat painful. To make a VERY long story short, I have a dislocated left wrist and a sprained right thumb. Trying not to feel sorry for myself and just be patient; I'll be back on top of my game soon...but seriously.

Anyway, getting sick of my own bitching on that tired subject, so let's catch up on something more fun!

The 7WTF project has been placed on the back burner for now because of my gimpy state; I will pick that up again one day when I have full use of my arms/hands...which is too bad, 'cause I really felt like I was getting somewhere! But there is a silverish lining on this black cloud of injuries, which is this: every day is leg day right now, and I am having great fun putting some pretty cool leg workouts together. Want to see my favourite one?

Here it is:

Warm up: 1 mile easy run, lower body foam rolling and dynamic stretching.

Superset 1
Seated Leg Press (as heavy as possible for 15 reps)
High Step-ups (15 each side)
4x through

Superset 2
Bulgarian Split Squats (10/side)
24" box jumps (20 reps)
3x through

Superset 3
Prone Hamstring Curls (20 reps at a weight where the last 5 reps bring tears to your eyes; these should not be easy)
Skater Side-to-side Lunges (20 each direction)
3x though

Superset 4
Hill Sprints with a sand bag, 30 sec x 3
Captain's Chair Bicycles (20 reps)
3x through

That's what I'll be doing tomorrow morning! After which I'm going to tell you about my newest nutrition project. Have a great weekend!

Dessert, anyone?

Let's get right down to it, shall we? I've gotten loads of messages since yesterday from people who are totally down for no sugar in October...except for Thanksgiving, when a slice of pumpkin pie is an absolute necessity. To which I say, hell yes! But, I am committed to doing this project 100%, no exceptions, and for those of you who are open to an alternative, I give you....

Hang on a sec. Before I introduce today's recipe, I have to include a disclaimer: I hate low-cal, low-fat etc. 'cheating' desserts. Hate them. My approach to dessert is this: if you are doing everything right as far as diet and exercise is concerned, and you find yourself jonesing for dessert on a Saturday evening, you should have a dessert that is over-the-top awesome. It should be so good that a small serving is enough. So with that in mind, the following is not a low-cal, guilt-free (whatever that means) dessert. There are no artificial sweeteners (they activate my gag reflex). I have made no effort whatsoever to cut calories or fat. What I do recommend is that you use absolutely the best ingredients possible, and accept nothing less than full-fat, ORGANIC dairy products. They cost a little bit more and are sometimes harder to find, but they are worth every bit of the time and money because of the nutritional benefits, the superior taste, and your ecological footprint. So without further ado, check out my original recipe for....

SUGAR-LESS PUMPKIN PIE

Crust
1/3 cup rolled oats
2/3 cup walnuts
1tsp cinnamon

Turn the oven on to 375C, and grease a 9" springform pan. Chuck all the ingredients into a food processor and pulse until the mixture resembles wet sand. When that happens, press the crust into the bottom of the springform pan and stick it in the still-preheating oven.

Custard
3 eggs
1 1/3 cups condensed milk
2 cups canned pumpkin purée
2 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp cloves
1 tsp ginger

Thoroughly mix all ingredients, then take the crust out of the oven and pour the custard layer into the pan. The oven should be hot by now; set a timer for 25min and wash the dishes. Or go relax.

Mousse Topping
2 cups whipping cream (organic if possible)
1/2 cup pumpkin purée
1/2 cup sour cream (again, full-fat organic is really the only way to go!)
1 tsp vanilla
2 tsp cinnamon
Pinch each of nutmeg, cloves, and ginger
(Optional) 3-5 drops of liquid stevia

Whip the whipping cream, then add the other stuff and mix it in. When the bottom part of your pie is cooled all the way (this is important, no joke), spread the mousse layer over the custard layer and sprinkle with cinnamon. Beauty!

So honestly, how does this measure up?

I liked it. I served it to my kids without telling them that it was anything other than regular pumpkin pie, and they both happily gobbled it down. After licking their plates clean they both said, "yeah, it was good...but not as good as your pumpkin pie usually is."

Haven't tried it on the husband yet - that will be the ultimate test! Will check in on that score tomorrow.

Here we go!

Weigh-in Wednesday! Starting weight for this project is 187.2lbs. Eep. Well, it can only get better from here!

So I am putting this sugarlessness challenge out to the online masses. I am going to take it one step further and nix the white flour as well (which shouldn't be too hard since I don't really eat that stuff anyway) but white sugar and white flour are the roots of all evil as far as I'm concerned.

I'm going to post a recipe or alternative each day to make it even more fun! Who's in?

Starting again...and again and again and again

I'm home from work today because I have a kid with a fever. You know, besides a little bit of extra whining, it's been lovely! (And as far as I'm concerned, the whining is justified - poor kid is feeling pretty lousy.) Still, she is absolutely loving being treated like a princess, lying on the couch while I bring her ginger ale and Tylenol and change the DVD when needed...and I am loving the down time, the quiet house, and the bonding time with my nine-year-old.

Nine. NINE?!

Anyone who knows me well is fully aware (and rolling their eyes at my sentimentality, I'm sure) that this whole parenting gig has left me in a state of shock. Peeing on the stick the first time (and then finding out that I was already 16 weeks into the pregnancy) was like jumping onto a moving train, and though the initial disbelief has worn off, the constant feeling of hanging on for dear life has remained. These days the train is hurtling toward Tween Station, where it probably won't even pause to refuel before it rockets on, at ever increasing speeds, toward Teenage City. Anyway, my darling little firstborn and I butt heads on a pretty regular basis, or at least we did until a few months ago when I came to the sudden realization that she is a small version of me. We are so much alike in so many ways that it's no wonder that we have a tendency to drive each other crazy, but that light-bulb moment made me think I should try and be more supportive. And in the last few months she has become one of my favorite people to hang out with! I worry about her though; she is headed straight into all the same trials and tribulations that I went through as a kid, including the weight issues...

Oh, weight issues. How I wish they would go away forever...but I fear we are stuck with each other, for better or for worse, so I choose to make their presence a positive one.

Two things have happened lately that made me think that something needs to change (again) and I have to get on a wagon (again) and stay there (again). One is that the aftermath of the 7-Days diet has really thrown me for a loop and I am hardcore out of control. I'm expanding out of my clothes and it's setting off alarm bells in my ...hips and thighs and ass. Yup.

The other is that this past Saturday the aforementioned child and I did a workout with the sparring class at our taekwondo club, and although remaining conscious for the duration of the workout was a step in the right direction (ha! ha!) it was pretty apparent to me throughout that I need - NEED - to be lighter in order to be successful at this sport. My taekwondo uniform is also the only thing that I wear on a regular basis that isn't stretchy, so the expanding-ass problem is doubly apparent in my not-stretchy white pants. Yikes. And while we're at it, being lighter would make everything easier...but now I sound like a broken record so it's time to make an announcement:

It's NEW NUTRITION PROJECT TIME! Yup, that's right...tomorrow is 4 weeks away from Halloween, and so in light of the coming landmark I am giving up sugar for 4 weeks. Added sugar, that is; keeping fruit and sweet veggies on the menu for the moment. From tomorrow until the day after Halloween I'm nixing the sugar. It's gonna be work.

Stay tuned; tomorrow's the weigh in and we'll go from there! Fun!

Week 1! No, week 2! No, wait...

So theoretically I am done 2 weeks' worth of my 7 Weeks to Fitness (hereafter known as 7WTF - hee hee!) projects...but I am only done week 1 of the programs. How is this possible, you ask?

Well, the programs work like this: you do 5 sets of each exercise, with a prescribed number of reps in each set. In the last set, you go to total failure but they give you a minimum number of reps to bang out before you're allowed to fail. For example, yesterday's push up protocol looked like this:

Set 1: 10 reps
Set 2: 12 reps
Set 3: 8 reps
Set 4: 8 reps
Set 5: to failure but minimum of 12
(60 seconds' rest between each set)

Here's the thing: if you max out before you hit the minimum in the last set, you have to repeat that day. And that's why, after two weeks, I finished week one of the program yesterday. I'm not sure if it's because I'm doing three of the programs all at once or if the programs' intensity increases too quickly...but I'm going with the latter because increasing the total load of a workout by 15% every day doesn't jive with what I know about exercise program design! I also like that option better because it makes me feel like less of a pussy. Ha!

And speaking of being a pussy, I think it's important to note here that I've changed the way I'm doing the squat program: instead of doing 135lbs I'm doing 95lbs, but I'm being picky about doing perfect, arse-to-floor squats. It is way freakin' harder than doing 135's with my hips going down to knee-height!

Interesting results so far; I definitely feel stronger and am seeing big changes in my strength on this program. My gimpy-ass right shoulder is stabilizing too, and moving better than it has in a long while. Hell yes!

 The one thing that I don't like about this program? I'm freakin' bored. The problem, of course, is that there's too much cool stuff out there to work on and try out and experiment with! Apparently I have a bad case of ADD when it comes to designing my own exercise programs, and I think that's why I really need to see this program through, at least until the six weeks are up. Should be interesting to see how far into the program I get! Ha, do you think that could be why it's a 6-week program called 7WTF and advertised as 6 to 10 weeks' worth of programming? Hmmm...

Look out, week 2! I've got your number!

And, because next weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, I'd be terribly remiss in my duties if I didn't show you my....

Pumpkin Mousse Cheesecake!

Here it comes...

That's how I feel these days! It's time to stop messing around with these stupid diet plans and just get back on an even keel here. Did you notice how I used the word stupid? About diet plans?

That's what most of them are.

There are a billion and a half diets out there, and they will ALL work if you follow them to the letter; at least over the short term. The good ones will give you continuing results and be plans that you can follow over the long term, IF you stick to them. And that's one ginormous, hairy IF, 'cause that's hard to do.

I often wonder why it is that I still carry so much extra weight around; I don't generally think of myself as someone who has no discipline. On the contrary; I made it through the freakin' Velocity Diet (and got no results, although my husband did it too and lost 18lbs), and the more recent 7 Days to Bitchy diet...but here's the thing: I am inconsistent with my application of discipline, and if I'm honest I know that that's why I am still 30lbs overweight. True story!

So, to sum up: I am overweight. I know damn well why. I am working on it. And as long as I keep working on it (because, since we're being honest, I will probably have to fight with this one until I die), I will be okay with all of the above.

It's taken me a long time to get to a place where I can say that. Yay me!

And you know what I totally love?
Working out. That's one area where I never have to worry about consistency, because I love everything about it: the digging deep, the hurting afterward, the grunting and straining and burning and feeling like I'm going to puke...I even love the awful feeling of talking myself into getting it done when my body really, really doesn't want to cooperate. Every minute of it is awesome.

All of these factors put together are what make me good at my job. I don't often get into this but I really do believe wholeheartedly in what I do, and I think that the life experiences that brought me to where I am have left me with a unique perspective. I have something to offer that no one else does.

Are you wondering where I'm going with this yet? You may want to get comfy, 'cause there's a big rant coming...

You know who DOESN'T like working out? Like, at all?
You know who only does it to make herself look good?
You know who hasn't dealt with her own issues AT ALL and foists them onto everyone around her?
You know has zero ability to reflect on herself and her behaviour and how she affects other people?

TV's toughest trainer, that's who.

Jillian Michaels claims to be among the best in the world at her job. I call bullshit on that one, for so many reasons that I can't list them all here. But the list above sort of sums up the big issues. And as far as I'm concerned, it's the personal stuff that really makes the difference between a really good trainer and a total fraud. Never mind that she probably knows the nuts and bolts of how to put a workout together ('cause let's face it; that stuff isn't rocket science although it helps to have some basic knowledge of how to swing a kettlebell. Ha! Ha!), and that she knows that eating clean is the best way to go and why; the problem is that the people who run the Jillian Michaels machine picked a bitchy, overgrown, immature mean girl with a boatload of identity problems that she hasn't dealt with (and probably never will because she can't get over herself long enough to step back and reflect). Jillian Michaels is a face: she's a packaged machine that a whole team of experts have put together and marketed to death in order to communicate the message that healthy, balanced living is good for you.

FAIL.


Anyway. I'm done with her stupid app already; the information in it is totally flawed and backwards and wrong and nobody should put any stock in that shit. I followed her plan for me for a couple of days and could not make the way I normally eat fit into any of her pat little profiles. And when I followed the macronutrient breakdown for what she says is my body type, I gained a pile of weight and felt absolutely terrible.

And speaking of terrible, the workout plan in the app is simply ridiculous!! 5 Circuits of 5 exercises each? Three times through? Really? In HOW long? Did anyone actually try these workouts before they packed them up into a product that is supposed to be used to sell memberships to her website? And her demo's? Ooh, her demo's...honestly, is she trying to spread enthusiasm for exercise or show everyone how shitty and painful working out is? Sheesh...

Seriously.To hell with her 3-hour workouts and her bass-ackwards diet plan; I am done with all of it and I refuse to waste space on my phone with this crap. Want a good workout app? Check out Martin Rooney's Push Up Warrior, or the Nike Training Club. 'Cause Slim Down with Jillian Michaels is probably good masturbation fodder for 16-year-old boys, but that's about it.

On Excessive Ballast and Bullshit

Took my kids and a couple of their friends to check out the Rock Jungle today - it's a brand new rock-climbing gym in Edmonton with a CrossFit gym and yoga studio...and it was awesome. Even though the facility isn't fully operational yet, we had a blast playing on all the smaller bouldering walls. But you know what? I was amazed at how much I sucked at it!

I don't know why I expected to be better at it; it was my first time out so I was starting at square one. I usually consider myself to be fairly strong and in decent shape, but, as with most physical endeavors, I have more enthusiasm than natural ability for climbing...

...and (sigh, here we go again) an over-abundance of ballast in my ass. It occurred to me today that everything I really love to do would be WAY easier if I was lighter. Everything.

So with that in mind, it's time to start a new science project on my poor tortured metabolism! 


How do I say this nicely?

I'm not a member of the Jillian Michaels fan club. For a whole host of reasons; really, I could go on and on and I won't be able to stop...so I won't start. Suffice it to say that when I saw that her lame-ass app: "Slim Down with Jillian Michaels" hit the market yesterday (for FREE), I thought HEY! Here's one I have to check out and use for a little while so that I can DESTROY her on my blog!! Whoohee!

So I downloaded the app, set it up this morning, and started using it. It's not without its problems. First of all, it gives you a weight goal solely based on your height, which for me was 146lbs. Now, if I figure that out based on my lean body mass right now, that would put me at 8% body fat: WELL below the healthy range of 18-26%. Seriously, I think I was 146lbs at birth. Really what I would like to weigh is about 160lbs (which would put me at about 18-20% body fat based on a little bit of a loss of lean tissue with that kind of volume of weight loss), which is at the low end of the healthy body fat range and would make me very, very happy. So I manually re-set my weight goal. No points for Jillian yet.

Next you have to decide whether you are a fast, slow, or balanced oxidizer. This kind of metabolic typing drives me crazy, because it flies in the face of everything I have ever learned, practiced on myself, or applied with my clients. Now, if you look at the profiles of each (you can look at them all here) I am a slow oxidizer. As such, according to that wisdom and according to the app, I require a high percentage of carbohydrates (60% - sixty percent - SIXTY PERCENT) and lower protein, and very, very little fat. Almost to where it's a throwback to the 1980's low-fat fad.

This is bullshit. I know from experience that my body functions much better on higher protein and fat and very few carbohydrates. Actually, most people do. This is another subject that I could rant on and on about so I won't start...not today, anyway.

So I put myself down as a balanced oxidizer. Not really the case but it's closer to the macronutrient breakdown that my body will work best on.

Calories! Next you get to set your "Calorie Level" - basically you choose one of three plans based on your goals and body size. I chose 1400-1600/day; this is described as "appropriate for larger women who want to lose weight or petite-to-average women who want to maintain weight."

So you log all your food in the journal section of the app, which is not unlike MyPlate or FitDay or any of those other food-logging apps out there, except that...wait for it...

It's better. Score a point for Jillian, ladies and gentlemen! The food journal resource is great because it actually has healthy, basic foods in it. The one thing that most of those food logs doesn't have is a good index of clean food - everything has a brand name on it and you can't usually find things like plain oats, or chicken breast. This one has it all.

And the workouts in the app? Oh...the workouts. I actually do have to rant on and on about those, so I'm going to save it for tomorrow. Until then!