Change: still 5.8lbs
Hmm, I expected to see some rebound gain today, but there wasn't any! I suppose that's a good thing; staying the same is better than going up. Still, it seems kinda boring...
But today is fast day again, so there's no way that number will stay the same again tomorrow! I'm kind of excited to see what happens; if I'm under 180 tomorrow I'll be pretty happy.
I had an epiphany yesterday. I really spend a lot of time and energy trying to listen to my body, eat the right things, eat when I'm physically hungry and not when I'm bored, tired, frustrated, etc., etc. But you know what the big problem with listening to my gut is? My guts have shit for brains. My body doesn't know how to communicate what it needs anymore, because I have NEVER listened to it. I've done all the goofy diet plans out there (and I mean ALL of them), and I have always gained weight back afterwards. What I really need to do is not pay any attention to my body, do the math to figure out what I need, remove all emotional attachment to fueling my body, and follow the plan as meticulously and with as much discipline as I have had with my approach to this diet.
What has surprised me the most over the last five days is that I CAN do this. I didn't really think I could. Now I think that maybe it IS possible for me to get to my goals as far as fat loss and athletic performance are concerned...which is a little scary. I've spent the last year reconciling myself with NOT accomplishing those goals and accepting that they are out of reach for me, and over the last month or so I have finally gotten to where, if I never lost another ounce, that would be okay. Maybe that's WHY I have found the will, or the detachment, to get this done...
Anyway. This post is in danger of getting too deep and personal and self-indulgent which is not where I wanted to go today. Also I am getting too brain-dead to think or type!
Today's scheduled workout was HIIT in the morning, moderate cardio in the evening. As one thing I am absolutely not prepared to give up for any reason is strength training, I put together an intense little explosive training circuit with box jumps, burpees, push ups, and clean and presses, and did it 10 times through with a minute between each round. Tonight I was thinking I'd pull my bike out and hit the highway, but given my present level of hypoglycemic retardation I think it's best for everyone if I stay on my own two feet. Gonna have to run, then!
One last victory to note today: I made four cheesecakes this afternoon (more to come this weekend) and didn't sample ANYTHING. It was absolutely the worst kind of torture but I did it! By the end of this weekend I should have some good cheesecake pics to post.
Dreaming of oatmeal until tomorrow...
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