Mondays are Awesome!

Happy Monday, world!

You know, a lot of people I know think Mondays suck. I disagree; I think Mondays are awesome. You know why? Because every seven days, there's a new week - a chance for a fresh start. Mondays are full of possibility, opportunities, and chances to make life better...even if life is already pretty good. Cause there's always room for improvement, right? And I am always down for a new beginning or a new project.

"Whaaaat?" you may be thinking to yourself. "She's nuts. I have no time for new projects and Mondays are hard enough to just get through." I hear that one a lot.

No time.

Just have to get through the day.

What if you decided not to cooperate with the nasty Monday conveyor belt? I mean, think about it for a minute - what is is about Mondays that make them so daunting? The beginning of a work week? Five whole days until the weekend? What would happen if you put a big goofy smile on your face (even if it's fake at first) and went off to work or class or wherever? You might even make someone else smile...and imagine the ripple effect from there!

Right then - so last week I took all the stupid time-gobbling apps out of my devices in order to create more productive time. Bye, Papa Pear...don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, Farm Heroes. And seriously? Screw you, Key Word.

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I didn't miss them, or didn't have to fight off strong compulsions to put them back on, cause I totally did. BUT you know what I did instead? I got some stuff done! I read a book! I slept just a little more each night! And all those things are pretty cool, except at the beginning of the week my inner toddler was having a giant tantrum because all her favorite toys were gone, and losing the toys seemed like punishment for wasting so much time...and so I had to get an attitude adjustment from my very wise and fabulous nutrition coach Georgie Fear, who said "that sounds like a really positive thing you're doing for yourself!"

Wait, what? A positive thing I'm doing for myself? Not a punishment for being a shitty time manager?

Whoa.

 Which made me think, what else could I apply that thinking to? Oh hey, I know -- just about

everything!

Have a great Monday and stay tuned for my book review!

Transition Space and Yoga

It's week 4 of being a business owner. It's a strange place to be because before I left the big gym, I was hell bent on getting out on Friday afternoon and then TAKING OVER THE WORLD on Monday morning...and that hasn't happened. And in fact, what has happened instead is way more awesome. What happened instead was (wait for it)

Space.

Hours of empty space. Sure, I still have clients to train, but fewer of them. I still have a family to look after. I still have a house full of tasks that are behind and musical instruments that need playing and books that need reading and creative projects that shout at me for attention...but for the moment at least I am choosing to ignore the chores and focus on my relationships. Instead of staying busy with busywork, I am taking full advantage of the opportunity to sleep. To focus on myself and get my shit sorted. To do yoga. And to play awful addictive video games.

 And I tell ya, I feel saner and more connected than I have in years. Maybe EVER. I have realized that I kept insanely busy and put the needs of my children (which is necessary for the first few years I admit) and my work and the laundry and the internet before my own in order to avoid some of the harder work that needs to happen inside my brain case. I know I'm not alone in that respect...and I also know that although I'm off to a good start here, I'm still doing an awful lot of AVOIDING and I could be more effective with my time.

 And if the children didn't come downstairs naked every morning complaining of no clean clothes our mornings would be a lot more harmonious.

To that end, I am removing the silly apps that take up too much time from my iPad and my phone. Right now. I challenge you to do the same: top three goofy things that take up too much time?  For me, they are

Key Word

Farm Heroes

Papa Pear

 Damn you, King Entertainment! You are singlehandedly turning my brain into mush. Well, no more. Someone hold my hand here....

Here we go...

Oh man, this is harder than I thought. Damn.

 Okay, I did it!! Woohoo! There are no longer goofy time-gobbling apps on my electronic devices. What an awesome way to start a Monday morning!

Now I can go back to reading books.

Right then, to my favorite subject: exercise!! It's actually not my favorite subject right now 'cause I'm heavier and weaker than I've been in a long time. The one saving grace that has helped me through this fitness rut is yoga, and I think for a while there that was the missing link. I have been going to a class twice a week lately which has been awesome, but this week I'm going to give daily yoga practice a shot. And there's plenty of time for it now that the goofy apps are gone!

Big Bad Gluten...Really?

 It's official - Gray Area Fitness is two weeks old!! Woohoo! And, Happy Shamrock Day!

 Ok, kids, gather around and I'll tell you a story. A few weeks ago I was happily shopping through Costco ('cause there isn't any other way to shop through Costco) and I noticed something suspicious. Product packaging has changed. Remember when EVERYTHING used to say 'low fat' on it, to the point where people would buy up crazy quantities of Skittles, Twizzlers, Snackwells cookies, white pasta, and 'fat-free dairy-like dessert food' so that they could go home and eat around their cravings all night? And it wouldn't matter because everything they ate was low-fat or fat-free? Never mind the fact that they were eating their weight in petroleum by-products and drywall dust...

The fact is, and we are starting to get it, that fat is not evil. Fat is actually good for you, in the right proportions and the right varieties. The problem with fat is that gram for gram, it has a little over twice as many calories as its other two macronutrient counterparts (namely, protein and carbohydrates) so it's really easy to get too much of it. Because fat is DEELICIOUS.

mmmm...fat....

But I digress. There is a new villian out there, folks. Another totally evil compound in our food that will make you fat and miserable and sluggish and impotent and give your children nightmares and make your dog poop on the carpet for all eternity. Its name is GLUTEN.

 Everything that's gluten-free is labeled. "Eat this, it's GLUTEN-FREE!" crows the packaging. THIS is the product that will break the shackles of ill health!!

I was driving my giant shopping cart down the aisles of Costco growing increasingly aware of this new phenomenon, and becoming increasingly irked by the patronizing nature of it all, when I rounded a corner and drove by a lady behind a sample table. She smiled at me and said, "Try some coconut! It's GLUTEN-FREE!"

I'm not kidding. This happened. And it was the last straw. I wanted to shout at her, "Of course it's freaking gluten-free, it's COCONUT!" but I didn't because I am a nice person (on the outside, heh heh) and I can't yell at people who are just doing what they're told. So instead, and in hopes that the doofus who came up with the idea to try and sell coconut based on it's virtous gluten-free-ness reads this one day, let's dig into this, shall we?

What is gluten? Wiki says:

Gluten (from Latin gluten, "glue") is a protein composite found in foods processed from wheat and related grain species, including barley and rye.

Right then. So can we all agree that products that are not grain-based are probably gluten-free? (As a side note, if the food is heavily processed then it wouldn't hurt to read the label, but if it's that heavily processed then you probably shouldn't eat it anyway). BUT, there is a small portion of the population who really do need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what they are putting in their mouths is really truly gluten-free, and those are the people with celiac disease, an auto-immune condition that affects about 1% of the population. Another growing chunk of our population figures that they are gluten-intolerant. This is true for some...but most of them are simply figuring out that they feel better with less starch in their bodies.

Here's a good rule of thumb for grocery shopping: if it has no nutrition label, it's good for you (and gluten-free! Huzzah!). Things like vegetables, fruit, legumes, eggs, meat, and nuts. If it has a nutrition label, check the ingredients. Are there more than 5 ingredients total? Leave it on the shelf. You'll feel better, you'll be healthier, and hey, you'll save a few bucks!

That's the end of my rant for today! Next time it might be fun to talk about exercise - stay tuned!

When!

I have a confession to make. Most of you have probably drawn the conclusion that I like to work out, you know, given that I'm a personal trainer and my pic up there is me doing push ups...and you'd be right. I totally love pushing my body's limits and watching its performance change.

Ok, and it's appearance too. Sheesh. I hate to even bring that into the discussion because it's such a hot button for, let's face it, most people. So let's just acknowledge that that is a thing and move on, 'cause it's WAY more fun to talk about picking up heavy shit and putting it down again. Right??

 Now, I am not a naturally athletic person. I have a long torso, short legs, and freakishly slack joints - I've been able to do the splits in all directions since I was a kid and I've never really worked on it. I also made the choice to conscientiously avoid all types of exercise until I was close to 30 years old...thus guaranteeing that I would never be a world-class athlete. This is all absolutely okay with me because it's my body and those aspects are things that I cannot control. On the other side of the coin are all the aspects of health and fitness that I can (theoretically - but that's another post altogether) control: nutrition, rest, and...exercise!

I love working really really hard in the gym. I love being sore after a good workout. I love getting so sweaty that I may as well have jumped into the shower fully dressed. And I love the feeling of leaving the gym completely spent. I read somewhere once that after an appropriately intense workout, you should feel like having sex - if you don't, you pushed too hard. By that rationale, and left to my own devices, I push too hard in almost every workout. But it's fun! And it always feels great when I'm doing it...

Anyway, that's my confession. That's also the reason why I don't design my own exercise programs. Could I? Of course I could. But I don't, because I seem to consistently misplace my objectivity where my own performance is concerned...but there's another big reason, which is this: the fitness industry is full of very very smart, very creative people and during the hour or two that gets devoted to my own development in the gym, it's fun to actually learn stuff too. I'm a big geek.

So, people often see the role of a personal trainer as the person who's going to crack the whip. Who's going to squeeze out that extra 10%, to drive you harder, to make sure that you put all your effort into every rep of every set of every workout. I call bullshit on that one, because I am definitively not the only person who's likely to overdo it without a rational person holding the leash on my inner beast!! In fact, at LEAST once a day I have a conversation that goes something like this:

"This is pretty easy. I could probably go heavier."
"Let's get through this set and see how it feels, sound good?"
"Ok, if you say so...ugh! agh! oog! Yeah, no. No heavier."

Men in particular seem to be susceptible to this mentality, and because my clients are who they are (and I love them for it) there is some specific reason why it's a really good idea not to overdo it. Although hey - making sure you know when to say "WHEN!" is a really good way to make sure you'll wake up tomorrow and think "that gym thing is fun! I'm gonna go do it again!"

 instead of "Gaaahhh, fire! Better drink an extra cup of coffee at breakfast so that I make sure I only have to sit down on the can once today!"


That's all folks! Stay tuned because yesterday, a seriously misguided Costco employee tried to sell me coconuts on the basis that they are gluten free. Rant is coming! And? For the latest news and a huge announcement this Saturday, click HERE.

Do it NOW!!

A Little Humility Goes A Long Way

It happened again. I got a promotional email from a well-established professional that started with, "as an expert who has helped thousands of people solve their problems..."

And that's all I remember of that email because there was a flash of red and then I hit delete. And you know what? I probably would have been interested in the content of that email but because she started it in that patronizing, supercilious, egotistic tone I couldn't read any further...which is too bad because I bet there was an UNSUBSCRIBE link at the bottom of that email. Sigh. Another opportunity missed.

 It seems to me as though this particular brand of pompousness is more rampant in the fitness industry than most other fields. I could be wrong. Maybe it's not the industry itself that's at fault so much as the internet...cause there are an awful lot of 'experts' out there who are totally full of shit and cranking it out into the blogosphere by the toiletful. But I digress; that is not what I sat down here to rant about. Most of the fitness-related emails and blogs that I sign up for get right to the point; couple of pleasantries, what the person is up to, and get right to the information....and most of those people have my utmost respect anyway; they don't need to start their email with 1001 reasons why they can be considered the absolute last word on fitness. Know what people who do that need? A big slice of humble pie with lots of whipped cream -- except that those are also the people who don't eat pie. Maybe that's the problem.

 Mmmm...pie.

I don't think I need any more pie; I've had more than my share. In fact, I had a very weird compliment come from an even weirder place the other day - it was a grapevine thang where someone I didn't know came to me and said that someone ELSE (who I look up to in more ways than one) told him that I was the one to ask for advice. I had no idea what to say, so I stood there opening and closing my mouth like a carp at him until he hurriedly gave me his business card and retreated. I never know what to say in response to a professional compliment, because the more I learn and the more I practice and apply that knowledge, the smaller I feel and the more there is to dig into deeper. Which is, of course, why I love it so much. But love doesn't really help me to not feel like people are mocking me when they pay me a compliment! I'm working on it, I swear. One day they will stop taking me by surprise.

Right from there into shameless self-promotion!! Click HERE. Do it. Do it now!

The clock is ticking. Five more days!

Ice cream and pop for breakfast!

GGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! 

Thanks, just had to get that out. At the risk of opening myself up for judgement (which, let's face it, is the point of blogging anyway), I am sitting here watching my children hog-mouth 2L bottles of root beer over breakfast.

It is hurting every fibre of my being to watch and yet I am saying nothing. Actually, I am doing my best NOT to watch or I will open my big mouth and spoil their fun. Why am I allowing this horrific diabetes-inducing teeth-rotting display of North American gluttony to proceed, you ask? Well...because it doesn't happen very often. Actually, it's never happened before, and likely won't ever happen again. There is an extra child in our house this morning because we are on the tail end of a mini-slumber party and the guest kid is the one who brought a 2L bottle of pop for everyone...and okay, I admit it - I probably would have thrown cold water all over that idea if I'd been home at the outset, but I wasn't. Anyway. What I want to teach my kids is self-regulation so that when they grow up they won't leave my house and go,

 WOO HOO I CAN EAT ANYTHING I WANT!!!!!

...which is what I did. I gained 40lbs in that first year and did damage I am STILL working to undo, both to my body and my psyche. 

But it's not about me anymore, it's about them. If I can teach them that most of the time if they pay attention to their bodies and make good choices, they are totally allowed to throw good judgement out the window and drink two litres of root beer inside 24 hours. 

And then they are also allowed to discover for themselves that doing that feels like absolute shit.

 In other news, I have added a new machine to my kitchen - hooray! This compulsion to grow my collection of machines and doohickeys is giving my poor husband an uncontrollable twitch in his eyelid, but hey, kitchen experiments make me happy. The new machine is a YONANAS, a little droid that grinds frozen bananas into an ice cream-like state. It comes with a cute little book that has cute little recipes like bananas with chocolate chips and bananas with strawberries...but screw that!!!

 (I did try plain bananas just to get started.) 

But you know what we had for breakfast? Don't tell the children cause as far as they know it was just fruit....

Butternut squash and blueberry protein ice cream!! And it was the bomb. Oh yes it was. I will never buy ice cream again.

So yeah, they washed it down with root beer. But I will laugh on the inside for the rest of the day.

And last off: in case you missed the little hidden link in my last post, here it is again!

Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick.....

Big changes are coming in this neck of the woods! I have spent the last couple of months oscillating between wild elation and sheer terror...I can't tell you exactly what's going on yet (although believe me when I say I can hardly stand keeping it to myself until March 1st!) but for a tiny hint click here.

And on that note, let's talk re-invention. I love fresh starts. You know what's awesome about them? They can happen whenever you want them to. Forget about waiting until your next birthday, until the kids go back to school, until (at the risk of being ubiquitous) January 1, or the first of next month, or Monday. The only time it's impossible to start fresh is on a Friday...'cause I have a thing about no new projects on Fridays. I don't know why...it just seems like a day to wind stuff down, not start things up. But that's just me. And in this case I have to wait until the beginning of next month. That's when the page turns and a new chapter starts.

Do you like how I just totally contradicted myself right there? I will stop talking out of my ass now, I promise. Moving right along!

 So with this ginormous life change that's coming up, I am taking the opportunity to turn my focus inwards and fix some loose ends that have been holding me back, personally and professionally. I had a conversation with a client a few weeks ago where we were talking about how shitty 2013 was. Both of us had had some really profound life-changing adversity to face in 2013, and without even thinking about it I made the observation that the best growth comes from shit...so if 2013 was a veritable compost heap, 2014 is going to sprout some serious awesomeness. But before that can happen, I need to say good bye and good riddance to some bad habits - must make lots of room for the awesome to happen!

 Here's what I need to do to get going:

1. I will make proper sleep a priority. This has taken a back seat for, oh, eleven years, and it's not working for me. Eat my shorts, sleep deprivation.

2. I will get on top of planning meals...the thought of which makes me twitch with irritation. I love to cook but have never gotten on top of the planning thang. This causes me more stress and worry than it's worth. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, last-minute supper panic!

3. I will fix my health, one way or another! To make a long story short, my endocrine system has not been acting right for a long while now. I've been plowing through and trying to work it off and muscle it out and that's not working. Time for a new, smarter approach.

4. I will not overload myself with projects! In fact, why do I need a 4th habit to break? Fuck that, three's enough!

There, I feel lighter already!


Alright team, stand by - the big news is coming!