One door closes...

...and another one opens. Just like that.

Sometimes closing a door is a relief. There's freedom in commitment. (Wasn't that on a Starbucks cup or something?) Anyway, too many open doors is not a good thing, trust me: I spent the last sixteen months in a weird limbo-land where all the doors hung open but I couldn't actually go through any of them because I was waiting for them to line up in the proper order. Instead I got fed up and kicked a bunch of them shut, and though it didn't feel good at the time, it was the right move. Now I can focus.

With that in mind, it's time for some re-evaluation. A funny thing happens when you let go of a career goal that you've held close for any length of time: it makes you realize how much you've defined yourself by that goal...and not by who you are RIGHT NOW.

I'm taking this week off to get my head around them apples, because what a mind job! At the same time, it's an opportunity to take a closer look at what my strengths are and play to those, rather than focussing on trying to fix my weaknesses. You know all those stupid sayings that lululemon and their ilk like to plaster all over the place, like "Go toward what scares you" and "Leave your comfort zone behind" and "Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can fly"? Well, after sixteen months of trying to be what I'm not, I say fuck all that nonsense. Embrace who you are, right now, and do what you love and what you do best. Everything else is for someone else to do.

Because here's the thing: I am not a type A, driven, entrepreneurial business person. I'm just not. And there's nothing wrong with that. What I am good at is building relationships, coaching, and helping other people be their best, one step at a time. And when I'm done doing that with a bunch of people each day, I want to go home to my family, chill out, maybe play some music or write or work on whatever creative project I have going. Someone else can take care of the nuts and bolts of running a business...which is why I am putting the Gray Area Fitness Studio notion to bed, and going back to World Health.

Now, almost everyone I have told about this has expressed their condolences...which, you know, I appreciate because it WAS my dream and I failed at making it a reality. But it wasn't making me happy, and I am 100% confident that diving headfirst back into my comfort zone is the right thing to do. Letting go of the dream and kicking that door closed feels GOOD. You know why?

Because that was me dreaming of BEING SOMEONE ELSE. And maybe I had to go through all this to figure out that being me is awesome in all sorts of ways that I didn't appreciate. But don't worry, the Gray Area brand is here for the long haul - there's a new project in the works. Stay tuned!